I step into God’s presence lugging a bundle of broken and shattered pieces I call my life, and lay them at the feet of Jesus.
“Wow, that’s quite a load you’re dragging.” Jesus states quietly, at the same time opening the bundle and dumping all the assorted broken pieces, making a good sized pile.
I watch as Jesus begins to pick through the pile, choosing random pieces and setting them to one side.
“I’m so sorry, Jesus.” I speak with sorrow in my voice.
“Why are you sorry, Child?” He asks.
“Oh, Jesus,” I begin. “I’m sorry because I have brought nothing to you, a worthy King; nothing to show you how much I love you.” My voice trembles with emotion.
“Are you here now?” He questions as he lifts a large piece off the pile without looking up and setting it to one side.
“Yes.” I answer Him.
“Then you have brought me the best gift and all I need. You have brought me yourself and the broken pieces of your life, knowing I am the only One who can restore you as My vessel. This is the truest gift to me” Jesus continues to work on my pile. Each piece He chooses He lays gently and lovingly to one side; an assortment of all shapes and sizes. He finishes the process of sorting, leaving small shards of past life moments He has chosen not to reuse, scooping them into His hands and dumping them onto an altar. A fire begins to consume them, smoke rising and filling His presence.
I stand in awe of this process I’m observing unsure of exactly what is happening and wait until He completes the process He has started.
“Daughter,” He speaks as He watches the fire consume the last pieces of what I brought Him in my bundle.
“These are all pieces of your life you’ve chosen to carry that weigh you down; past moments of regret, jealousy, living up to expectations and perceptions of others around you; seeking out approval of others and painful moments of betrayal. Today we deal with them together. You provide the desire to be done with lugging them around, and I provide the consuming fire to burn them as pleasing aroma to Myself, accepting them as your sacrifice.
Jesus takes my hand and turns my back to the assorted pieces He had laid aside purposefully.
“Why aren’t these in the fire?” I ask, wondering if maybe He needed a separate altar and fire for these particular pieces, which were larger in size than the pieces He had just burned.
“I won’t burn these.” He responds with a knowing smile, bending down to pick up the largest piece. “These are still very usable.”
I recognize each piece as I watch Him work to place it back into whatever He’s decided to create with these broken pieces. I recognize the large piece of my illness and disease as Jesus lovingly touches and handles it with such care. I watch as He chooses the piece of a painful betrayal of a lost relationship, along with the piece of my caregiver role, placing it with precision in the perfect spot.
“This has to be some of My best work!” Jesus states with joyful emphasis. “This workmanship is created to do amazing things for my glory! Such beauty, touched by My loving hands. You must come and see this, Child!”
Jesus turns His gaze to me, welcoming me to come see what He has created and is so proud of.
I step up beside Him to see what He is so excited and thrilled about, and my breath catches. I’m speechless.
“Isn’t my workmanship splendid?” He asks me beaming.
“Ummmmmm..” I falter for words.
A clay vase with cracks sits in front of me; nothing beautiful or even useful about it. It was the ugliest vase, if you could call it a vase, I had ever seen!
Jesus begins to laugh the deepest laugh. It was if I had told him one of the best jokes He had ever heard.
“Daughter, this vase represents your life; all those broken, shattered pieces poured out before me. I’ve used pieces of them to restore you for My use and a new desire to serve Me wholeheartedly.”
Jesus takes my hands, and I meet His gaze.
“Child,” He lovingly begins. “You are seeing how I have put the pieces together through your eyes instead of seeing how I’ve put them together through My eyes. You see broken and fragmented, but I see healed and whole.”
Jesus smiles as He turns me back to the vase I had just been looking at, and my breath catches, tears trail down my cheeks. A vase of the most exquisite beauty; it’s clear glass gleaming and brilliant now sits before me just waiting for use.
I am still speechless.
Jesus laughs again, this time His laugh sounding just a bit mischievous.
“I can’t wait to start filling this up!”